Words impact every aspect of our lives–including what happens in the bedroom. The words we use before and during sex can affect the sex itself.I ask my readers to think of the words they use before and during sex as a thermostat. They affect the temperature in the room. Words can turn up the heat and increase excitement.
There is a strong biblical precedent for using words before and during sex. The lovers in Song of Songs were each eager to describe the other and their desire for sexual pleasure.
Here are four practical opportunities to enrich your pillow talk:
Missionary Position
Missionary is a common position, and for good reason! It provides great pleasure as well as opportunity for whispering during sex. Your mouth is close to your spouse’s ear, so every word and moan reverberates in an intimate, sensual way.
The missionary position is an opportune place to share a sexy line that would be a pleasurable surprise to your spouse–something both unprecedented and also within the realm of what you know she or he will be comfortable hearing from you. Since the words we use during sex affect the quality of the sex itself, it’s okay to think ahead of time about something sexy to say.
Both Sitting Up, Wife Straddling Husband
This is an ideal opportunity to turn up the volume. This position involves a lot of physical motion from both husband and wife so it’s a natural time to express excitement and pleasure.
I took Karate when I was in college. The instructor taught us to yell when we landed a punch or a kick. The verbal affected the strength of the physical, he explained. It’s the same in this sexy position–intentionally adding sounds and words can make the work of straddling or supporting more intense!
Tip: Describe the excitement that you’re feeling with this position in as much detail as you can think of. Instead of just saying, “that feels great,” excite your spouse by being more specific. You could say, “I love riding your [whatever word you like to use for his anatomy]!” or “I love the way your breasts move when you bounce on me!”
Wife on All Fours, Husband On Knees Behind Wife
Fellas, your wife has a nice booty. This is a great opportunity to tell her about it! Husbands, you have a great view of your wife’s body in this position, so take advantage of the situation and tell her what you like about what you’re seeing!
Wives, if your husband is a particularly visual person (which many men are, of course!), this is a good position to keep a particularly sexy pair of underwear on during sex. You can find a pair of crotchless panties or slip the fabric to the side–this is easy with something skimpy like a thong. Your husband should love the effect.
Husbands, use your hands in this position while using your words to narrate what you’re feeling (do and say things that show your wife just how attracted you are to her body–squeeze, rub, caress, ask permission to deliver a playful spanking, etc.) Let her know you love exploring her!
Use Your Words While Using Your Mouth
Enthusiasm is one of the most important aspects of giving oral pleasure. If your spouse knows you’re having fun and enjoying yourself while you’re going down on them, he or she will be more relaxed and more likely to reach orgasm.
So take small breaks to compliment your spouse— for example, you can pause to describe how much you love their anatomy. When you pause to speak, you can you use your hands or fingers to compensate for your mouth while using longer sentences. If your spouse is close to orgasm, a sexy word or two only takes a second or less to say and may help them finish.
When your spouse is nearing orgasm and there’s no time to pause what you’re doing for even a second, remember to use sounds, such as pleasurable moans, to show your spouse that you’re still having a great time.
